I mentioned in my Commonly Asked Questions post about how when I married my husband in our $500 wedding ceremony that he was an atheist and that I would share that story in October. Well folks, it’s October and I’m sharing that story. Because I did in fact marry an atheist, a man that refused for the longest time to believe in something greater than himself.
I’m so grateful for my friend Carlie of Managing Your Blessings for asking me to share our story during her 31 Days to a Better Marriage series. It’s an amazing series that I look forward to every year! Below is the intro to my post, but make sure you check out the full post and this incredible series this month.
Six years ago, a devout Catholic girl married an atheist. She knew the road she was embarking on wasn’t going to be easy. She knew that there was going to be struggles when it came to raising children to be followers of Christ while her husband made statements like “you’re forcing religion upon them” and “they need to understand that Christianity is the biggest con ever”.
I know, these are terrible things to hear and they are all things that this girl knew before marrying her Prince Charming at 23 years old. She made sure that her soon-to-be Prince Charming signed a “contract” making it clear that their children would be raised Catholic and that he wouldn’t argue with her about it.
Many of this girl’s friends could not understand why she would even marry him. He was a great man, loving and caring, no one argued about that. He would do anything and everything for his Bride, but he couldn’t be convinced that Jesus was real. He wasn’t raised in a church-going home and he had no concept of why Christianity was so important.
So what was this girl to do? The only thing she could do, the thing that she had been taught since she could walk as being the only way to really find peace – pray.
She prayed every chance she got: 1 Peter 3:1-2
“Likewise, you wives should be subordinate to your husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives’ conduct when they observe your reverent and chaste behavior”
She knew that in order for her husband to come to Christ, she wasn’t going to be able to preach the Gospel or “talk the talk”; she had to “walk the walk” herself.
Read the full post here on 31 Days to a Better Marriage.
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Natalie @ Financegirl says
Wow, Jessi! I had no idea this was part of your story. I really enjoyed reading this post so much. I’m so happy for you. I particularly like reading how strong your faith is and how your family has followed your lead. How inspiring.
Jessi Fearon says
Awe! Thank you so much Natalie! 🙂
Toni says
What a encouraging story for me. My husband believes a God created us (and everything else) but doesn’t believe in His current existence. He sees me go to church, read my Bible, etc. He is 100% supportive of me and the kids but I know that I cannot push too hard or he will completely shut down on me. It’s coming though…I’ve prayed about it and can feel it. That man is going to do great things one day.
Thanks for being brave and sharing your story.
A word of advice for others…be patient and pray ALOT.
Jessi Fearon says
I love that your husband is supportive and I’m keeping y’all in my prayers and I know that he’ll come to Jesus. 🙂
Amy @ DebtGal says
Interesting story, Jessi. I’m so glad it worked out for you and your husband.
Religion is not a part of my life, nor my husband’s. While we’re raising our daughter with what I’d call basic Christian values, it’s more about spirituality and ethics for us, than religion.
Lauren says
Aww 🙂 You have me speechless. So sweet!
Becca says
My husband’s agnostic; I’m LDS. We’ve been married for 15 years (16 next month). Religion has never been a source of contention for us; he supports my religious beliefs and is fine with me raising the kids in my religion, it’s just not something he cares about for his own life. Like you I was very worried about it going into the marriage; but it’s turned out to be a non-issue. I highly doubt my husband will convert. Before we were married one of my sisters called him a “tool of the devil” because he’s agnostic, and disowned me for dating him. I’m still disowned; she hasn’t talked tome in years and will probably never talk to me again, and all over something as silly as religion. He knows the heart-ache that’s caused me, he’s held me while I cry myself to sleep night after night, month after month, year after year, and it’s really lowered his opinion of my religion.
The funny thing is that when it comes to “walking the walk” he’s a really great guy; his sense of morality and his values coincide so closely with my own; and he is the best person I know at accepting and loving people, no matter what. I’ve seen the way he treats street kids and prostitutes, and I’ve seen the way he treats very important people, prominent politicians, even royalty (his cousin’s ex is a member of a royal family) and there’s no difference; he just accepts everyone for who they are, and believes that every single person is important. He lives my religion better than I do and better than a lot of other people I know. He just doesn’t feel that believing in God is important – His feeling is, any God that would condemn him for not believing in Him is petty and insecure and not worth worshipping. Sometimes I have this somewhat blasphemous image in my mind of my husband meeting Jesus – just walking right up to him and stretching out his and and saying, “Hi, Jesus, how’s it going?” and sitting down for a nice long talk and walking away friends, but still not ready to commit . . . . “That Jesus, he’s a great guy, he sure has a lot of good ideas.” “So now do you think he’s the Saviour?” “Well, let’s not get carried away, we only just met.”
Jen @ Frugal Millennial says
Interesting post! My husband was raised with religion and I was raised without it. He didn’t like the church he attended as a child and is now an atheist. I’ve always believed in God, but I was never particularly religious until recently. I found a great church a few months ago. I can definitely relate to what you said about how you knew he would never come around if you tried to force religion on him. I love what you said about “walking the walk”. No one wants to feel like they are being pressured or forced to believe in something. I’m happy for you!
Jessi Fearon says
Thank you so much Jen! And I love that you’ve found a church home that you like! That definitely makes walking the walk easier. 🙂
Emily says
What a story, Jessi! Our Savior is faithful, isn’t he? I am thankful that the Holy Spirit worked in your husband’s heart. And that through living out your faith, you were an example of what our Savior calls us to be. What a blessing that you both can raise your children in a home where you both believe and that you can pray together as a family.
“If we want to have a great marriage in Christ, we first have to have a great relationship with Him.” This is so true.
Jessi Fearon says
Thank you so much Emily! 🙂 And yes, Our Savior is ahhhhhhhamazing! 🙂
Ethel says
Hi jessi, I’m in a serious relationship with my bf for 2 years. He is Of another faith and we both respect each other’s beliefs. I have been low profile about my relationship. I have been troubled about my church community concerns about being unequally yoked.
I’m encouraged by what you shared in your post, thou i know not all couples go through your experience. i wonder what made you go on to marry him when you already knew he was an atheist? Hope to hear from you…
Jessi Fearon says
I love that you two respect each other’s beliefs Ethel! That’s amazing! 🙂 Honestly, God is what made me go on to marry him because I was having serious doubts – I mean, I didn’t want to spend a lifetime arguing about Jesus with someone, but God told me to marry him and I’m so glad I did. He was in Mass this morning with us and he now loves to talk about Jesus with our boys. It’s a beautiful thing that wouldn’t have happened had God not been there. 🙂
Lizzy says
Jessie,
I found your post this morning and it was exactly what I needed to hear. It gives me so much hope. My husband and I have been married for a little over a year and we’re in the same situation you and your husband were in. I just wanted to ask if you and your husband could say a prayer for me and mine; that his heart opens to the Lord and that I have the courage to walk the walk and face whatever criticism and confrontation that brings. Thank you!
Jessi Fearon says
Prayers headed your way Lizzy! It’s a tough road but with God on your side nothing is impossible. 🙂
Karen says
Hi Jessi,
This is a really interesting concept that I’ve always had difficulty with since I was a child. Having been raised Roman Catholic, my community knew how to talk to talk, but did not frequently walk the walk. As a result, I categorize myself as a “non-practicing Christian”. Having recently been divorced from my ex-wife of five years, I’ve met a man who has found Christ though his, so far, one year sobriety and AA meetings. We’ve discussed religion and my disdain for it, and made it clear to him that I don’t want to be lectured to by Bible thumpers who can’t even practice what they preach. It’s been two months since we’ve been hanging out, and I actually enjoy watching him kneel in the morning at his bedside to pray. I even remind him before I leave for work, or while I’m at work. I watch him walk the walk and it’s nice.