Do you ever find yourself in an anxious state – you know, one where you feel like you’re in some imaginary race against someone else and a clock that you can’t see?
I know I find myself here more times than I can count.
And usually, this anxiousness results in a few different reactions from me:
- I spend money by buying stuff (books, home decor, stuff that promises to help me “fix” something that I didn’t even know was wrong)
- I try in vain to capture that perfect “moment” photo but the moment was gone the second I pulled out the camera and started staging pictures.
- I scroll through social media a 100 times hoping to find something that will make me feel better about my anxiousness.
Now, maybe you don’t do any of these things, but I do. And over the last year or so, I’ve realized that it’s a problem. And honestly, it’s not a problem that I had a decade ago.
But that’s not entirely true either, because the theory of “keeping up with the Joneses” has been around for a very long time (since 1913).
And I believe our culture’s insatiable appetite for craving more and more is what keeps the “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality alive today. We all know that you used to have to physically see what others were doing to want to keep up with them, but once shows like Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, Newlyweds, Cribs, and Keeping Up with the Kardashians came out, we starting desiring more and more.
I mean, it showed us everything that we are lacking, right??
And then social media came out, and then we get full 24/7 access to the comparison game – only this time it’s with the folks we love the most. We can compare ourselves with our friends and family all.the.time. We can see that my cousin has bigger closets in her home, so her closets are always beautifully organized and clean. We can also see, that my best friends’ kids are enjoying sports every single weekend.
And the list goes on and on.
And before we know it, we can feel inadequate. We don’t measure up. We have “no life.” We’re boring. There’s something wrong with us, and we must fix this now!
Maybe, just maybe if my living room looked like Sarah’s with some fantastic Magnolia Market finds, I’d be able to take excellent shots for Instagram and Facebook and then I could feel just a little bit better about my home.
Oh wait, my kid is doing something super cute and funny right now, let me take a snapshot and share it real quick. “Dang it! Do it again. Mommy missed it!”
Sure, maybe we don’t actually say things like “we have no life,” but sometimes our actions reflect that. When we’re desperately trying to capture that perfect moment for the sheer desire to share it on social media, we really do have no life. We’re living for the virtual world instead of the life that’s been given to us.
For me, this came abundantly clear after I took this snapshot:
You see, shortly after this photo, I went in the water to keep my kids from going out too far, and while chatting with my husband, he pointed out “look at the beach – everyone is on a phone, and I mean every one! Even the kids are on a phone! Who comes to the beach to be on the phone?”
(Uhhhh, apparently I do honey…)
Now, it’s important to mention that my husband doesn’t have social media. He hates social media. In fact, after I shared that photo above (it was on Mother’s Day), my husband had called his mom to tell her Happy Mother’s Day, only to have her mention that we went to the lake and the kids looked so cute.
My husband hates that. He doesn’t like it when someone knows what he did that day without him telling them, so total #wifefail on my part.
But I get his frustration. I completely unfollowed everyone I know on Facebook which means, even if I’m friends with you on FB, I can’t see what you do unless I intentionally go to your profile. The struggle here is when I’m hanging out with people in real life, and they start talking about something like I already know about it, and I have to ask for an explanation because well, I didn’t see it on Facebook.
I’ve had people get mad at me and accuse me of not caring about them because I didn’t see a Facebook post!
So the question I’ve been asking myself this week is, “I’m I living in the real world or the virtual one right now?” Just this simple question has kept me in check when I saw something amazing that a fellow Personal Finance Blogger posted and I was all, “oh my goodness, I could do that too! I’ll go run to Walmart real fast, and I can make a post just like that one!”
I don’t have to tell you how stupid that idea was, but it’s amazing how many of those kinds of ideas most of us have in a day, and we aren’t even fully aware of it.
So, if you’re struggling like me with the lure of virtual living, I encourage to take a virtual free weekend. Pull out the digital camera and use it instead of your phone and stay away from social media until Monday.
Lord knows I’m going to give it a try…wish me luck!
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Great perspective and so very true. I’m using social media more and more for our business and it’s definitely draining. I’d like to hear more about why you unfollowed friends. I’ve unfollowed a few very negative people just to clean up my feed. Do you use social media only for business now?
I resonate with this post so much. I can relate to your husband sometimes, and get annoyed that everyone is on their phone – but I’m totally guilty of it too. I have moments when I want to delete all social media, but then remember that it can a good platform if used wisely! I find that when I limit my time on there, and use it more for business purposes, my happiness increases a bunch :).
Great post and the good thing about FB is I am following so many blogs I hardly see my real friends stuff. But I am on it too much because of the blog! Ya can’t win. Sharing! Thank you for sharing on Merry Monday! Hope to see ya next week!
Kim