I often get asked how does someone become a SAHM? How do you manage to live on one income? Is it scary only having one money flow coming in?
Yes, it can be scary only having one person’s money coming into the household but it does not have to be frightening. Living on one income requires that we budget every red cent – and most importantly, we stick to that budget. Lastly, how do you become a SAHM? Well, I have listed a few ways that worked for us to help you plan becoming a SAHM, but the most important question to ask yourself is “how badly do you want it?”
Often times, we want something badly enough but we are not willing to do what it takes to get there. If your answer to how badly do you want it is something along the lines of “I want it badly, and I don’t think it’s possible for me to do”, you need to ask yourself these two questions:
– What have you tried to help you achieve the goal?
– What sacrifices have you made?
If you want it badly enough, you’ll get it, but it will take sacrifice. Often moms tell me they want to stay home with their children but their husband do no make enough money or they will just want until their husbands make more money. My challenge to you is to look at your lifestyle and see if you are maybe expecting to continue to live a two-income lifestyle on one-income. If so, you may never reach your goal of being a SAHM unless you change your lifestyle. You may have to give up your big house or newer car or maybe something really difficult.
The How-Tos of Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom:
Plan, Plan, Plan.
Do as much planning as possible before making the proverbial leap of faith into the world of SAHM. Start living off one paycheck as soon as you and your significant other agree that staying home is the best option for your family. While you are getting into the hang of living off one income, you must do some very important factors:
- Save every one of your paychecks in either a savings account or hand them over to someone you trust to keep you accountable (most paychecks are valid for 180 days or more).
- Do NOT use your paychecks – if you find yourselves continuously relying on your paychecks that you are saving then you are not ready to live off one income. The point of this exercise is to condition you that your money no longer exists therefore, you cannot rely on it when the car breaks down, bills are due, or you want to go on a date night.
- Budget – yep, there is that word that many find dirty. Unless you are married to a gabillionaire you need to budget the one income that you’ll be living off of. Your budget does not need to be perfect and it may take several tries to get the hang of it but stick with it. (You can download my free budgeting guide here.)
Emergency Fund.
You need to start an emergency fund, you can use the paychecks that you are saving but remember to schedule in your one income budget a monetary amount each week/month that you will contribute to this savings account. My best advice is to save as much money as possible but a great threshold to meet is a $1,000. A $1,000 may not seem like a lot but it is a great start especially for when you go down to one income. If you need more help figuring out how to save an emergency fund, I highly recommend Dave Ramsey’s The Total Money Makeover* – life changing stuff.
Cutting Expenses.
This one is extremely important; if you have looked at your budget closely, you will probably see that living off one income is going to be tight. You need to make some room in your budget and the fastest way to do this is to cut back on your spending. Take some time to re-evaluate your cost of insurance, phone, internet, cable, etc and try to get those costs down. Consider, getting rid of your smart phone to get a basic phone. You will be staying home therefore, if you have a computer you will have access to the internet. Cut the cable and invest in an antenna, either Netflix or Hulu. Call around and try to get new quotes on your insurance – you may be surprised to see how much money you could save. Also, remember to watch what you spend while you are out – no more ‘Oh this is just a $1 what a great deal’ buys.
Dump the Debt.
You do not have to be debt free to be a SAHM but you should no longer be using debt. Debt will only make things worse especially when you are on one income. Do what you can before you become a SAHM to pay down/off as much debt as possible. When you become a SAHM, make sure that you budget in paying off your debt and not using it. I prefer the snowball method to getting rid of debt but honestly, anyway you do it is fine just so long as you do it and do not get into debt again.
This is not a perfect system but it does work. The most important thing to take away from this is that if you really want to become a SAHM, it is going to take sacrifice. You are more than likely going to have to live without the next latest and greatest iPhone and will probably have to drive an older car (I gave up my Mac-Daddy Tahoe to dump debt to keep me staying home with my boys) and may even have to forgo shopping at the mall. However, if you want it bad enough you will make it work and it will not bother you living without those things.
Are you a SAHM, how did you manage to make it work so you could stay home?
JOIN THE CHALLENGE!
Money controlling you? I know the feeling. My family has been living this real life on a budget for a long time and I can tell you that there's never a perfect season, but with a few changes you can start to reign in your money issues.
Join the 5-Day Challenge today and start getting your money life in order this week!
Great post! I too stay at home and have been home for about 3 years. It is very hard, in that time we have switched our internet and cable provider in order to lower a the bill. We have also changed car insurance 3 times and finally found one we will stick with through the Dave Ramsey website! He has a ton of ways to save and offers people that live and coordinate his methods into their lives and business! Budget is key, and it gets easier after you figure out what you have to work with! 🙂
Dave Ramsey is awesome! I love his straight to the point approach. And thank you so much for reading! 🙂
Great post! I became a SAHM last summer and it was definitely scary making the leap! I think you hit the nail on the head with your How-Tos! It’s great to know that there are others out there in the same boat–thanks!
~Abby =)
We’ve talked a lot about trying to get me to stay at home. Unfortunately we didn’t plan for it before kids, and now we’re stuck with some fixed expenses that make it much more difficult than it should be. Thanks so much for the advice and the motivation!
I wanted to be a stay at home mom but we were not at all able to plan for it. With my last son, I was pushed out of my job whether I wanted to quit or not. We were forced into one income and not at all prepared. Some things did fall into place for us … My husband got a great raise at the best time possible. However, I do watch our numbers like a hawk. I suppose the majority of my income went towards 3 children in childcare but I did have benefits which was the hardest to let go of and figure out! Somehow we are surviving. I don’t coupon (I suppose I’d like yo try) but really I just watch our numbers like crazy. I also looked into minimizing our cable/internet bill. Lowering my car insurance and home owners insurance. We paid off a few of our debts with our last tax return. IF we get a return this year then it will go directly towards freeing up more stuff. I say it’s possible for any one who wants to live on one income and be home with their child!!!!
Yes ma’am, I believe it is possible for anyone that really wants it! Childcare is so insanely expensive and I hate that they pushed you out but God makes great things happen in their own time. 🙂
I love being a stay-at-home mom! I didn’t intend to be a SAHM, but I’m so glad that I did it. We had to change a lot of things to make it happen (including moving across the country for a better job in a cheaper area), but it has been completely worth it.
This is a great article. I was a SAHM happily living off the paycheck of my husband at the time. He lost his job and we’d not made any plans for savings or emergency funds. Some things worked out – I learned to budget extreme-style but others didn’t. I’m now a single mom student with two little boys at home. But by still applying my strict budget, I’m making it work. I wouldn’t change anything because being there for my kids is one of the best things ever. Well done to you and your family.
You are such an inspiration Yvonne! 🙂 Thank you for your kind words.
Twenty-three years ago my husband said he didn’t want anyone but us taking care of our newborn. So I had a conversation with God and told him I think this is how we should take care of our family and that He would need to help us to do so.
We had $700 to our name. Every day, every year and every decade He has more than prospered and blessed us. I am totally blessed to have been able to teach my boys to walk, ride bikes, swing on a swing set to read, write and play chess etc. I also had the time to be a Sunday school teach Cub scout leader, math mom, art mom and all the rest. It’s the best gift my husband could ever give me.
Today one son is getting his PhD and the other is studying to be an engineer. Both received scholarships.
Looking back I see His hand every step. Looking to the future, I know He is faithful.
I’ve been looking for different ways to gain an income from home. I’m due with my second little one in about a week and I have a son that just turned 3. I’ve been using surveys, and selling crafts that I make from home. I have a yard sale every other weekend weather depending and have actually gained a good amount of income. I made a blanket for my son and someone had made a comment at the store the other day I may look into that for a part time income. Or even full time if it works out that way. I love reading these blogs. So helpful
I loved this post. My husband and I are preparing now for me to transition into SAHM. When my daughter was younger we were paying $700 a month for childcare. She’s 2 now and I am blessed to work from home (I’m clocked in 4 evenings per week and a few hours on Sunday) Right now I am lucky to kinda have the SAHM life–I get to have both my kids home with me each day, my son who is 9 is doing k12 online school and my 2 year old loves being with us all day. But I hate having to leave them in the evening and it gets stressful! So right now we are planning and budgeting like crazy! Our hope is to get rid of our debt and then I can stay home–we’re planning it to be one more year of me working before we can transition. So glad I found your post! So glad you can stay home with your kids–they are adorable!
Awe, thank you so much Crystal! And I love that y’all are preparing for the transition and are on the debt-free journey too! I know you’ll succeed and I’m cheering you on! 🙂
I really love this post. I am a SAHM and I have been since the birth of my eldest son 6 years ago. I absolutely love it! Even though it is great and nothing compares to being with my children every day, there are sacrifices that me and my husband have had to make. We don’t run two cars, we don’t holiday abroad and I have to be savvy in the way that I shop, but these are sacrifices worth making.
I know this is an older post, but it really hits home!
We live very modestly so I can stay home with our son. It does mean a lot of sacrifices and, admittedly, there are some days where I wish I was working, but, in the end, it was definitely the right decision for our family.
I do get frustrated when my friends with kids tell me how lucky I am to stay home and how its not an option for their family. At the same time they have a more expensive house, multiple cars, fancy clothes, and go on far more luxurious vacations. I understand that for some families that they don’t want to change their lifestyle drastically so someone can stay home, but my family sacrifices being summed up to ‘luck’ feels a little hurtful. I am not saying I’m looking for praise, but, yeah, it bothers me.
Also, I’m a huge Dave Ramsey fan! The Total Money Makeover was a game changer for my family!