Money can be one of the most difficult topics to discuss in marriage. But, it doesn’t have to be. In the beginning of our marriage we made the decision that I (Tai) will handle all of the budgeting. We felt that was the best decision based on the fact that I was better with money than Talaat. Boy was we wrong!
We had no idea the storm that we were creating. We both were ok with this initial agreement but we failed to communicate about it properly. Talaat felt like a little child that was handed a certain amount of money each week. I on the other hand felt unappreciated and taken for granted.
This opened up a can of worms. We both were walking around with unsaid expectations of each other. Once we figured out our issues, we both sat down and had a real conversation. We expressed our feelings openly and comfortably.
We realized that it is important that both parties are involved in the budgeting process, but with clearly defined roles. As long as our roles were individually and collectively understood, we were on the right track.
It’s ok for one spouse to be the number cruncher, bill payer or even the one that physically puts the budget together. But it’s not ok for the other spouse to not have a say in the process. My husband works outside of the home, so therefore we knew that it was easier in our situation for me to be the one to pay the bills. I’m usually at home with the kids sitting down at the computer paying our bills online whenever they are due.
Naturally so I am better with figuring out the numbers to make our budget work smoothly. My husband is actually the one that encourages me to do so because he knows that’s my strength. Talaat, my husband is great with researching large ticket items that we need to budget for. I don’t even bother with trying to figure out which vehicle is the best bang for our buck! That is his strength. He knows our budget and what we can afford. So, it is his job to make sure that we stay on track.
Do you see how both spouses are involved in the budgeting process, but with separate roles? Keep in mind that it will never be 50/50, and it shouldn’t be. As long as both parties are fulfilled and are happy with their spouses involvement whatever that may be…than that is the key! Don’t be like us in the earlier stages of our marriage and assume that your mate should be a mind reader. It is important to discuss who will do what and make a plan.
Talaat and Tai are a married couple of three beautiful children, who blog over at HisandHerMoney.com. His and Her Money is a journey of how two high school sweethearts fell in love, got married, but were total opposites when it came to handling their finances. They now show people how to manage money, marriage and everything in between!
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