This post is part of our 21 Days to a Better Budget Series and was written by my real life blogging buddy, Rosemarie of The Busy Budgeter! To view all the posts in our series, please click here.
I get it. I know hard it can be to sacrifice. Whether the sacrifice is by choice or by need. At some point during everyone’s frugal journey is a breaking point. A moment when you just feel like you don’t have enough. You’ve cut everything there is to cut and there’s nothing left.
You feel like your family doesn’t have enough. You wish that your children had birthday parties and more toys, and you wish that your husband could go out with the guys more (or even grab a sandwich with his co-workers). This is such a long journey. It’s not just a week or two that you have to stay upbeat and motivated. This journey will likely take years. And it’s so hard.
When you get to that moment… That point that breaks your drive and will, I want you to tell yourself these three things.
Adversity grows character.
Some of the strongest, bravest, most amazing people that I know came out of tougher situations than these. The next time you look at your children and wish that you could give them an iPhone or a fancy birthday party, stop yourself at that thought. Remember that you’re raising appreciative children that understand sacrifice, priorities and the consequences of their decisions. One of the best things that you can give your children is to lead by example. To show them what it means to be an adult, to be responsible and to live within their means. That will do so much more for them than an iPhone.
Perspective is everything.
You have so much more than others. When you feel like you don’t have enough, I want you to look at yourself from the eyes of a Syrian refugee. They have almost no money, very little clothing, food or access to clean water. They don’t have homes. Much of their family is dead or missing. If they get sick or need help, there are few places to turn to. The likelihood of being raped or assaulted in their lifetime is frighteningly high.
You are so incredibly blessed. What seems like “rock bottom” to you may seem like “a privileged life” to someone else.
This isn’t the end of your story.
Where you are now financially is NOT where you will end. You are sacrificing for a reason. You have goals and dreams that will absolutely be achieved. No matter how bad it is right now, no matter how hopeless your financial situation seems… it will get better. It will get turned around. For every moment of sorrow you have now, you will have moments of glory later. Just keep moving forward.
When these moments happen (and they will), see them as proof that you’re on the path you should be. It’s completely normal to have ups and downs on such a long journey of transformation. There’s a reason why everyone doesn’t do this. It’s incredibly hard. And it’s so easy to quit, open up a credit card and buy Jimmy Choo’s until you start to feel better. You’re not going to do that though. You’re in this to win.
You’re doing something most people will never do. There’s strength in you. You can this. We can help.
What was your breaking point? When did you feel like you just couldn’t do it any more?
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Rosemarie Groner is a formerly stressed, overworked and exhausted mom who loves blogging almost as much as she loves brownies. She writes at The Busy Budgeter about how she used the free Ultimate Money Saving Workbook to reduce their spending enough to be able to quit her job, stay home with her kids and then found way to make up her salary at home. She’s still working on the cure for exhaustion.
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While I wouldn’t say that I’ve had a breaking point, there have certainly been plenty of moments of frustration. At those times, gratitude and perspective are very helpful to get me re-focus.
Thank you so much for your words, Rosemarie. I truly needed to hear them at this very moment. I have been telling myself the first and third one for a while. But I haven’t thought much about the perspective. That just makes me feel so much more blessed.
Happy to help! And I love your blog! It’s so funny to “run into” people I read. (I feel like only bloggers would ever understand that sentence).
Thank you for your words of encouragement! I am a SAHM, and we have cut back in so many ways. It can be hard to stay content when we see others doing and buying things we can’t afford. But you are right, I am incredibly blessed and need to just keep moving forward!
Thank you so much for your words. I literally just stumbled upon your blog. I was on the verge of a break down at my desk today at work and your wisdom gave me a little courage. My grandmother came from extreme poverty in a 3rd world country and sometimes I forget how truly blessed I am. Thank you for the reminder.
Best,
Lin
Lin,
In my opinion, those “breakdown moments” are the foundation of an amazing life… hang in there… your story is just beginning.
Great tips. One other thing that I try to do when I feel that our family doesn’t have enough is to give to others. By giving a friend my children’s hand-me-downs, or making a meal for a new mom, or sending an e-mail to let someone know that I prayed for them–all of these simple things can help me realize how much I truly have.
Usually the hardest point for me is when my child brings home yet another form from school asking for money/stuff. It seems like this school year has been particularly filled. They don’t understand why I say ‘no’ more often than ‘yes.’
I see this so often now Kerri. It’s disheartening. They’ll understand as they grow older and they’ll appreciate you for it.
I cried reading this. Thank you so much for this post. Just yesterday I was talking to my husband and I lost it. I told him I didn’t see the point anymore because we’ve been working at this for so long and nothing has changed yet. It’s particularly hard because I am unable to work, and disability does not pay much. Thank goodness my husband makes enough to pick up the extra. Our bills are always paid on time, but we haven’t yet been able to save for our goals.
Thank you again for this. It is exactly what I needed to hear right now.