A few weeks ago in my weekly email to my email subscribers, I sent this message and from the overwhelmingly amazing response that I received from it, I felt that I needed to share it here for everyone’s benefit. 🙂
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“I didn’t know granite countertops were part of a real life on a budget.”
That was the comment left to me by someone after seeing on my Instagram feed one of my photos that showed our kitchen countertops…, which yes, are in fact granite.
At first, I was so annoyed by this comment. I wanted to respond with something along the lines of…
“Don’t you know that my husband worked his tail off doing side hustles so we could save up the $30,000 cash to remodel our 1979 home that was purchased as a foreclosure?! Don’t you know that my husband and his best friend spent 2 weeks doing the majority of the remodel themselves and that my husband slept in our garage, inside our 1971 Wriedt boat for those two weeks?! Don’t you know that our house had to be ripped apart before we could move in because the lady that lived here before wasn’t the cleanest person in the world and there were rats, yes RATS living inside the walls and ceiling of our basement?!?!?!?!?”
Gawh!!!!
Okay, yes, I’m dramatic. I was horribly annoyed but the truth is I was missing the bigger picture. The real issue with this person’s comment wasn’t the fact that they don’t know me in real life and have no way of knowing what my hubs had to do in order to get our home livable. It was the fact that this person believed the myth of living a real life on a budget. The myth that says if you budget, you’re poor.
That if you know how to manage your money or say “we’re on a budget” that somehow means you have no money. When in fact, it usually means the exact opposite.
Here’s the thing, if you’re living life by a budget, as imperfect as it may be, you’re doing something right. When we bought our house, we knew we’d have to sink a lot of money in it. Not only to upgrade the look but to also get it livable. We had to hustle big time and my hubs brought the muscle with that hustle and in four weeks, worked enough side hustles that were all manual labor to earn enough money to pay for our remodel in cash.
That would not have happened had we gone into the whole house-buying thing without a budget. We could have purchased a “custom built” brand new house complete with a mortgage payment of $1200 or more a month instead of our foreclosure with a mortgage payment of $740 a month and saved us the side hustle and the $30,000 cash. But, if we had purchased that brand new home, I’d never been able to quit my full-time job as a project manager to become a stay-at-home mom.
True story.
By knowing what our goals were and knowing what we truly desired – me staying home with our children – we were able to make the largest purchase of our lives in accordance with those goals.
That’s the whole point to this real life on a budget thing – making your money work for you.
I encourage you to continue making budgeting a priority, no matter how hard it is or how many side hustles you have to work in order to save up the money to reach your financial goals. You can do this.
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Money controlling you? I know the feeling. My family has been living this real life on a budget for a long time and I can tell you that there's never a perfect season, but with a few changes you can start to reign in your money issues.
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First of all, I’d like to say that I’ve now signed up twice (it wouldn’t let me the second time because it said I already had signed up) for your weekly emails, but I’ve never gotten one. 🙁
Secondly, you nailed it: “That if you know how to manage your money or say “we’re on a budget” that somehow means you have no money. When in fact, it usually means the exact opposite.” –This is so true! People do tend to think that if you are on a budget that you aren’t allowed to own nice things or go out to dinner or buy nice things once in awhile. And there usually is a back story on everything that people don’t know about, not that it should matter. I find that when people get nasty, it’s because they are jealous. And with your loving, hard-working husband, BEAUTIFUL 3 children and your toughness to sacrifice and stick to a budget, no wonder! Keep up the good work, Jessi! I’m a big fan! 🙂
Thank you so much Liz! 🙂 And I’m so sorry that my email subscription is giving you issues. Would you mind sending me an email to thebudgetmama@gmail.com and I’ll see if I can’t fix the issue manually?
That comment is so “poor-minded” if you’ve ever read Secrets of the Millionaire Mind. You are doing it right! I hope granite counter tops are also part of my real life budget!! I sure as heck don’t want to stay broke. Everyone should be on a budget. Budgeting means you’re managing your money — you need to do that regardless of whatever income you make.
So true Natalie! And I’m a firm believer that a budget is one of those “secrets to life”. 🙂
Hello Jessi,
great insights here and a good message. Working with couples who need help with money has shown me that there is sometimes a stigma that comes with budgeting. Not many know that if you budget you are doing it right!
So true! Being on a budget doesn’t mean that you don’t have money! It means that you are properly managing your money!
I completely agree! Recently we have been able to set aside enough in savings to do a somewhat sizable remodel on our home (HVAC replacement, new floors, kitchen upgrades, etc), and all on one income! Since I have been able to save about half of my husband’s income each month, we can pay for this remodel out of pocket and not have to take out a personal loan or put everything on a credit card with an interest charge each month. We also continue to have an emergency slush account and save for retirement, so this was a set goal!
Also, you may want to mention the home equity you are building with that 30K. One’s home is an asset, after all, and anything you put into it can increase the return on your initial investment. 🙂
That is AWESOME Anjelica!!! You are an inspiration!
Good for you, Jessi! You did a great job responding without emotion, and instead pointing out the important lesson here.
Thank you Amy – it was difficult because my first reaction was to be offended, but then I realized that I was being way too emotional. 🙂 lol
Ugh I really dislike how so many people think that “budget” equals poor. It’s just not true!
Just wanted to say that I love this, Jessi! 🙂 Budgeting definitely does not equal poor! Also, this is a perfect example of why we shouldn’t compare and judge– we never know the whole story!
Yes! So true Stephanie! 🙂
People who budget end up wealthy and live well. Budgeting is a must nowadays and I teach it to my kiddo as well just like saving water or not wasting food. You do good job, Jessi 🙂
Thank you Reelika! 🙂
The less money people think we have, the more I know our budget is working! Keep it up. Recently discovered your blog, love what I’ve read so far!
Thank you so much Brett and I couldn’t agree more with you! 🙂
First, I want to preface this by saying this comment is not directed at you, personally. I don’t know enough about your circumstances. I just think it deserves to be said, because I have never seen a comment like this yet on frugal blogs. Your house is an investment. It’s very important, when you’re doing renovations, to know what the ceiling price is for property where you live, and to not over-capitalise on it. I’ve seen examples like people putting down solid oak floors in a 1970s double-wide trailer and then saying, “See what I can do because I budget!” Well, that’s not really good use of money, because you’ll never get the money back when you go to sell. You can argue that it’s still worth doing because having solid oak floors is important to you – and yes, if it’s that important to you, go ahead and do it anyway. Fair enough. But recognise that you are spending money without a hope of capitalising on it later on. It’s like budgeting to buy a pair of really expensive shoes – you can do it; and if the shoes will make you happy to the value of the shoes, it’s worth doing; but you go into it knowing that it’s just for you and that it’s not an investment, you can’t resell the shoes in 5 years time and get your money back.
Again, I’m not talking about you. I know nothing about property prices where you live, and you’re smart and would have done your research. But just because you can afford to do something, doesn’t mean it’s a good investment and that you should do it. Know your market, and renovate with one eye towards future resale value.
You are my hero!
Awe, thank you so much Lydia! 🙂 You’re way too kind!
Yes, yes, yes a million times! You took the words right out my mouth, my mind and our life! We took Dave Ramsey’s FPU course last Winter and have since been living on a strict budget, aiming to get out of debt at gazelle intensity (my other Dave friends will know what this means). When we tell our family (the worst offenders) that we don’t have the money to do something, or that it’s not in the budget…they directly associate it with us struggling for money. It generally comes when asking to go out to dinner and it’s just not in our budget, they will respond with oh, we can loan you the money or we’ll pay for you!
But that’s missing the point, as you’ve so eloquently stated, Those of us who budget most likely have A LOT of money…but all of our money serves a specific purpose.
Thank you for this amazing post!
Budget = Poor. I’ve definitely heard that before! And, honestly, right now we don’t have a lot of money. We budget to make sure that we stretch each dollar and know exactly where it will go. Granite counter tops aren’t in our budget right now, but that doesn’t mean that someday they won’t be. I personally find inspiration from blogs like yours and Stephanie’s at Six Figures Under. Knowing that budgeting pays off–whether it is literally paying off your student debt or paying down on a house. I’m excited to see how our budget will pay off! Thanks for the motivation!
Love this article and definitely needed it. Especially during the holidays, I sometimes feel bad saying, “we’re on a budget” – but I think your “true meaning” behind that is very helpful and reminds me that it doesn’t me we don’t have any money. We just need to be careful how we spend it so we don’t lose sight of what we want/need for the future! Keep it up!
This is your best post ever. I’m totally 100% in agreeable with this. Set financial goals, work your butt off to be able to achieve them, enjoy your hard work and repeat. This is how you can achieve everything you want. You rock!
Thank you so much Kathryn for your sweet words! 🙂